Shervin got uncomfortable at dinner and claimed something's stuck in his nose. He wouldn't tell me what, so I figured it was just dried mucus and plowed on with his meal. After desperately picking his nose for a while, he sheepishly disclosed that there was a ball stuck inside. Sure enough, a "ball" was stuck in his nostril - a good-sized pearl that he must have snagged off the Diwali decor while I was cooking.
When I asked him to blow his nose, a tug of war ensued between his exhales and the allergic reaction - the pearl would be inhaled right back in after every little headway. Not to mention the sneezing fits. The pearl was barely visible and lodged snugly so nose-picking would have been a bad idea. A tweezer wouldn't find purchase, nor was Shervin sold on that idea.
I blocked his free nostril and asked him to bow down (hail gravity), to inhale largely through his mouth, snap it shut, then blow with all his might through the 'oysteril'. The pearl shot out in two blows.
Then off he went on a guilt-trip and claimed that the pearl got stuck to his finger and went in just like that. When I didn't buy that excuse, he offered another - the pearl suddenly jumped into his nose. The cheeky kid legit felt that he was casting that priceless pearl of an excuse before this swine.
He finally admitted, vowed that he'd never do it again and would always listen to me from here on. Just when I was wondering how long that last pearl of wisdom would last, he added that there might have been 2 balls. Then he refuted this claim and on went the yo-yoing between 1 & 2 pearls. Nothing showed up in his nostrils for a good while so I figured that the other pearl (if any) might have favoured the nature's call over voicemail. Sid kept interrogating and finally spotted another one after 2 hours (hail gravity again). Shervin knew the drill now so he blew out this one in seconds. We made him repeat the drill a few more times for good measure, in case of other potentially buried treasure.
Anyway, the second time was such a breeze that I'd almost feel like a pearl-clutcher if he pulled the same prank. Almost. While the world can be his oyster, we hope his nose never is.
Disclaimer: If your child lands in a similar situation, please seek professional advice. We could handle it on our own, secure in the knowledge that Dinesh Bhagwat was just a call away.
