#Mentoo

Sarvjeet Singh lost his career & reputation and was subjected to a long, gruelling media trial because a female's allegations were taken at face value. So have many men, going by the remarkable number of false cases. 

Please note that this is not a competition about which gender suffers more, as in how many genuine cases go unreported - if anything, the false cases undermine them. It's about both the figures being remarkable enough on their own to warrant an unbiased, nuanced and informed judgement. That there are loads of Beta-males among spoiled Raja Betas and Paapi Parees among Papa ki Parees too. 

A significant portion of society takes a woman's word for gospel, going by the lopsided social media trials & verdicts. Our laws are tilted in women's favour too. For that reason alone, besides the moral one, we not only need to raise our sons right, but we also need to raise our daughters right, so that they don't misuse that unequivocal trust in their word, or abuse the laws at their disposal. Be it a son or a daughter, they need to be taught that respect is earned, not demanded on the basis of gender alone, and that it works both ways.

To all the good men who go unacknowledged for their unspoken, loving, caring, rock solid support,

To all the good men in our lives whom we wouldn't lump together with and punish for others' misdeeds; who we wouldn't want to fall prey to scheming & false accusations either, 

Happy Men's day!

Social snake pits

As a teenager, I'd often hear many women making snide remarks about the career- oriented women who "ignored" their household duties. About their husbands being "sissy" for shouldering most of those household duties. I silently judged those couples for a while too, just by hearsay. Until I saw the wrong in it and hoped that this judgemental attitude would phase out with the previous generation. Was I in for more disappointment! Today, a man or a woman is judged for being an absolute homemaker or being absolutely career-oriented or being single or anywhere in between, and over how they run their households too.

It doesn't matter how hard all of them work on their chosen fronts. These snakes look down their noses at the homemakers. They rip apart a working couple/parent for "foisting" their kid/s on the grandparents. They make digs at any woman who employs a cook. I've come across a liar too, who enjoys loads of home-cooked (from scratch) delicacies as a guest and then viciously lies about how her host cooks from ready-to-eat packs.

Well, should this even be a criterion for character assassination? So what if we are served a meal cooked by a househelp or a husband or if it's from a restaurant or an instant mix? It might be that individual's or that couple's mutually-decided way of life, and we aren't the ones spending the rest of our lives with them. If food has been brought to our table, why not just appreciate the gesture?

We all have been snakes at some point in our lives. Because we often get hoodwinked into judging another person, instead of seeing these petty topics for what they are. And we let them reduce our vision to a snake's as well; we fail to see the big picture - how does that family/couple/individual work as a unit? If they look happy, they must be juggling their lives brilliantly & seamlessly together, regardless of who shoulders what responsibilities. Some are ambitious, some are not. Some like housekeeping, some don't. Some like a little bit of everything. Some can't afford to stay at home with their kids even if they wish to. And if they get to choose a life that, or a partner/family who, complements their preferences, who are we to judge?

If we broaden our vision further, we'd get to see an eclectic mix of couples, families and individuals leading blissful lives today and contributing their unique ways to the social dynamics. We'd get to learn what makes them tick. They're often the most sorted units and often the most judged. We could recognise the snakes who wouldn't change their stripes and focus on these ladders instead.

-Signs of social snakes-

Some are capable of spitting venom to the moon and back. Defence is the last thing on their mind when they bite, behind one's back, of course. Some constrict the living hell out of one's character with their fat egos & narrow-minds. Some keep rattling off until they're rattled into slithering side-ways when their target shows up. Some jealous ones skin the better ones down, instead of shedding their own thick skin and scaling up. Some have that inconsistent, two-pronged tongue. Some gang up (like that famous Iguana vs Snakes chase). Some do the mamba, err, mambo over others' misfortunes. There is the non-venomous variety too, which means well, but immaturely airs the concerns to all but the party in question. I do admire the type that hisses and disses right in its target's face, especially if the advice is solicited.

When these snakes turn up at our door, they are and will always be welcomed with as much respect as any guest of ours is accorded. At the end of the day, they make us introspect and grow as a person. Besides, I regard it as just another Nagpanchami.

*Slithers away*